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Florida Man, Antonio Brown, Loses Mind Over Helmet; NFL Preseason Hype & More

Florida Man, Antonio Brown, Loses Mind Over Helmet; NFL Preseason Hype & More

What makes a grown man, playing a kid’s game, absolutely lose his aura of cool, enigmatic diva superstar status in a juvenile trade for the very real questions of, “Is he even mentally, much less physically, prepared to play the game at a high level for the team that paid handsomely for him?” & “What the HELL is he thinking?”

Antonio Brown, Miami born & raised, has elicited much talk during his decade long NFL career thus far – praise for his on field acrobatics, speed & touchdown grabbing prowess and jeers for his childish, self-absorbed antics. The latter being tolerated less & less as of late even though AB pretty much always produces the former on the field.

Now we have Diva AB, freshly signed to a 3 year, $50 Million Dollar deal with his new team, the Raiders, on the hook for $30 Million guaranteed, and he is pitching a hissy fit over which helmet he has to wear. Doesn’t the league custom fit helmets for superstar players already? What’s the deal-io, Antonio? Why the hangup over having to wear a newer, safer helmet?

I guess I should be asking other questions of AB at this point, however, for example, “What-in-the-hell are you doing in a cryogenic therapy chamber? *pause for stern stare* … Without proper footwear?!”

I do feel for Raiders fans these days, what with their team taking the term suck to new lowvels, ever since the Bucs absolutely demolished them in Super Bowl XXXVII, up until & now, after committing so much for one player, to have him be both mostly absent and frivolously distracted from the tasks needed to win on top of the fact that the team is packing its sh..tuff to relocate to Vegas, has to be mind-numbingly frustrating for my Oakland peeps. Good luck, Chuckie!

Speaking of the Bucs & the NFL… After just 2 days worth of mostly forgettable preseason practice under way, I think I can confidently state that I will dominate any football pool or fantasy league I join this fall.

What? No. Really. It’s a lock. Book it.

Really jazzed about the talent spread out across the league this year; Here’s to every player’s health – may they play their asses off without any serious injuries and give us the show we all pay so handsomely for, with our money, our time & attention – our devotion, really.

Mahomes. Man, I want to see him direct that KC offense like last season for YEARS. Hard to be much better at the position. Can Rodgers rebound? What about Cam the ham? Matty Ice? Ez Breesy? Can new coaches & new schemes bring new life & championships to long suffering teams? Every season brings these questions back freshly renewed to separate the pretenders from the contenders.

My dark horse Super Bowl pick this year?

Bucs vs. Browns for the ticker tape parade & trip to Disney World. I’m a homer and a sucker for the plucky underdog with a sense of humor, so I think that matchup MORE than qualifies.

#GoTeam #AreYouReadyForSomeFootball?

Darth Taco

Everything in life can be broken down into how many tacos it is worth. #UniversalCurrency

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