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Alien Abduction Insurance now available in Florida

Alien Abduction Insurance now available in Florida

While I’d love to have a real Progressive ‘sesh’ with Flo, you gotta hand it to Mike St. Lawrence who owns the St. Lawrence Agency located in Altamonte Springs, FL. His agency offers limited or comprehensive alien abduction insurance.

“I went and I looked at my homeowner’s insurance policy to see if I was covered for a risk like this and I was not,” said St. Lawrence.

St. Lawrence, to the surprise of absolutely no one, says he is in the “humor business” has sold close to 6,000 policies since 1987. The policies cost $19.95. If policyholders so wish, for $24.95, they can upgrade & get a certificate that is suitable for framing.

Each policy includes $10 million worth of coverage as well as outpatient psychiatric care, sarcasm coverage (well, DUH!) and double identity coverage. Policyholders can claim to be eligible for double the standard coverage but that payout would be based on verifiable and extreme circumstances (Can you say Anal Probing?).

St. Lawrence says, if you purchase a policy, make sure to have a sense of humor.

“I take a very open minded approach to this, whether it’s happening or not. But if you get one of our policies, show you have a sense of humor about it,” said St. Lawrence.

So how do you file a claim? Well, that part can be tricky. To start the process, you have to obtain a signature from an “authorized, on-board alien.”

“Some way, you have to be able to prove it and I have had a couple exceptions where they didn’t get a signature,” said St. Lawrence.

Just in case, you might want to read the fine print. The policy states that the payments to you or your beneficiaries are $1.00 per year for 10 million years.

St. Lawrence has paid at least two claims since he started writing policies. One policyholder submitted a Polaroid picture with alleged aliens as proof.

Recently, St. Lawrence has created a unique policy specifically for the latest viral phenomenon – the Area 51 raid. But this policy comes with a warning.

St. Lawrence cautions those wanting to storm Area 51 to “see them aliens” that he will make good on the policy but it is a dangerous mission.

“It is activated if you go in and you don’t come out. If I could give advice, it would be to stay home because this is a military site and they probably take blocking people from getting in seriously,” said St. Lawrence.

St. Lawrence and his business have also seen some success on the big screen and was briefly featured in the 1997 film, “Contact.”

If alien abduction is not one of your concerns, St. Lawrence offers asteroid insurance and reincarnation insurance. He also claims to have written famed actress Shirley MacLaine a policy.

You can learn more about St. Lawrence and his zany business on his website.

Darth Taco

Everything in life can be broken down into how many tacos it is worth. #UniversalCurrency

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